things done while thinking (out loud).

mostly white

Burnt tyres,
smelt black.

The wind,
brought sepia.

Mornings came in lilac.
Nights were prussian.
Evenings; ombre, orange.

For noon,
delivery men dropped
bright lemons and mustards
at my door.
Fridays left me in taupe.

Dogs in their evening walks,
sometimes, golden.

Bougainvilleas
bloomed pink.

And the windows,
were mostly white.


***

The city,
didn't have a smell of its own,
one that smell of memories.

A crow on a red wall in front of a weathered green building and a white building under a blue sky

try again

I had a doubt.

I googled it first.
It showed me a page for full body checkup.
Got a blood test done.
It said, be positive.

Examined my eyes with a mirror.
It showed just my reflection.
Opened the fridge to search.
Looked for it among the leftovers in my lunchbox.
No hints.

Checked Instagram.
Could see just my photos.

Went to my fb profile,
Could see only my friends.

Checked my WhatsApp dp.
Could see only my face.

Looked at my wallpaper.
Any clue?

***

Locked and unlocked my phone.
My fingerprint, my password.. gave no hints.

Went through my grade sheets.
Opened and checked my wardrobe.
Emptied my laundry bag to see.
Nothing helped.

***

I googled again.
And it said try again

Then appeared,
The dinosaur which can just go forward,
Jump and squat as someone presses the keys.

Guess that’s me.

The offline dinosaur from Chrome running towards a cactus, a fossil skeleton buried beneath it

that's how I got you

Something was shaping there,

Rooting from the belly button,
Forming by all the precipitations down there,
Starting to push on everything else,
Squeezing them to the corners,
Making room for what it was evolving into.

Then came,
an overwhelming feeling,
that the body was too small to carry it,
tried to vomit it out,
I fell down.

Craved for things unreachable,
Sought everywhere, to meet those deep desires.
Then,
the unbearable pain,
Limbs were numb.

Anxieties, rushes, hot flashes.
Unable to hold it down,
I stopped resisting.

Found a space to sit down,
And waited.
They said it needed a push
And I gave all my powers, and love.

Seconds,
minutes and
hours passed.
I didn’t know what was happening.

In the end,
there I was,
With you in my hand, my baby.

They called you ‘poem’.

***
That’s how I got you.

Black and white photo of branching sculptures strung with small lights against a night sky

11 to 7

My eyes closed,
My doors open,
And I set out.

I go places,
See stories,
Taste people,
Drink colours,
Hear thunders,
Smell rains,
Get wet, often.

I do laugh, sob and shout at times,
And rarely,
Rarely,
I touch God.

***

Please don’t ask me to take you along,
I wish, but I can’t.

Because I sleep.
I sleep.

Bright green algae combed flat over dark rocks